Portal High School Host Club
by Nurse Medusa
Summary: Th host club got kidnapped by Aperture Labs and it's up to Haruhi to save them, with the help of the (mostly) useless cores that her friends were downloaded into! Will she save her friends before it's too late? What does Glad0s want? Will Kyoya ever be able to do the club's finances? Probably not, but find out in this (very weird) story!
1. Chapter 1

**What do you get when you give Tamaki a portal gun? An idiot with a portal gun! What'd you expect? If you really want to know what you'd get, read and find out!**

Haruhi walked into the 3rd music room to do finance with Kyoya and the rest of the host club. She opened the door and saw that they were all already sitting down, punching numbers on calculators.

"Are we really going to do this all night?" She asked as she dragged herself closer to the table. Kyoya opened his mouth to answer with some nonsense about raising the poor commoner's debt higher when someone outside said.

"You want something interesting, you say?" At first, they thought it was Nekezawa, but it was a girl. She had brown hair and was wearing something that equated with a prison suit. "Follow me for something you'll never forget." The twins jumped out the window to follow her. Everyone then jumped out the window to go after them, but got bored of chasing them and just followed the girl.

"So, um, where are we going, exactly?" Hikaru asked after walking for hours.

"Someplace you'll never forget, oh, look! We're here!" They were in the middle of a grassy field and the only 'building' in sight was a metal outhouse. The girl opened the door and shoved them inside shouting.

"HERE GLAD0S! TAKE THEM, NOT ME!" The club landed on an elevator a couple feet down and watched the mysterious girl slam the door. The elevator slowly took them down.

"This is why we don't complain about the finances, Haruhi." Kyoya said.

"You all are stinking rich, don't ANY of you have a cell phone?!" Haruhi asked.

"We left ours on the table." The twins said, shrugging.

"I left mine at home today." Hunni said.

"Well, it's a good this ONE of us is prepared." Kyoya said, pulling out a phone. He was dialing a number when the elevator stopped in front of white, cylindrical things with red dots on the front of them.

"_**Target sighted." **_One of them said. There was a BANG sound and kyoya's phone had a hole right through the middle.

"Dammit!" Kyoya said. The elevator went down a few more floors and they saw a giant robot.

"_**Hello. Did the chubby girl bring you here? Well, to walk all this way you must love science. Beore we begin though…"**_ The robot picked up Hunni.

"Hunni –senpi!" Everyone said. It lifted him over a wall and the club couldn't see what was happening on the other side, nor hear it.

"What have you done with Hunni-senpi!" Tamaki demanded of the robot.

"_**Nothing that won't be done to you." **_The robot replied before picking him up. This happened a few times until it was just Haruhi remaining.

"_**Your friends are safe, girl. But not forever. If you fail these tests or, weather purposely or accidentally, destroy the personality cores that I downloaded them to, they will die." **_The robot dropped something in front of her. _**"I haven't done human tests like this one before, this should be interesting. My name is Glad0s, and that is a portal gun that you can use to solve tests. Are you ready?" **_Haruhi nodded.

"I am."

"_**Then let's begin."**_

**Not as bad as you thought it would be, eh? I would like reviews because I read every review and absolutely love getting them! So review for more! The host club will be waiting for you in chapter two of Portal High School Host Club! I'll see you there!**

**:33**

**Nurse Medusa **


	2. The idiot core!

**Welcome back to the strangest story on the interwebs! If you didn't catch it last time, if the cores (or other objects) Glad0s downloaded the host's personalities to get broken, they'll die. With that (happy) news out of the way, let's begin!**

"_**Welcome to your first test. I put one of your friends in the corner to encourage you through this impossible test. Also, the water has high-powered cables running through it. Have a great test." **_Glad0s said to discourage Haruhi.

_One of my friends?_

Haruhi thought as she walked into the room.

"_**Haruhi! Look! Daddy's here in the corner! Haruhi, look up here!" **_Haruhi looked up and saw a huge, metallic and purple eye.

_Oh great._

"Is that you, senpi?" She asked.

"_**I can't hear you, so I'll just go on talking."**_

"_**That's right. I disabled that morons hearing sensors. Have fun!" **_Glad0s said. Haruhi looked around at the room. Glad0s said it was some kind of puzzle and that she was holding a portal gun. She shot an orange ring out of the gun across the room. The room was rather simple, considering that she had a portal gun. (It's the first chamber Wheatly made in Portal 2, the one where you push a button and shoot a portal across the room and walk over and it's over). She pushed a red button and an oddly painted box fell. It was a blue box with black corners and purple circles in the middle. There was an image on the circles. Pink cartoonish bunnies.

"_**Haru-chan!"**_ Haruhi walked up to the box and picked it up.

"_**I didn't disable this one's hearing because it didn't bug me."**_

"Hunni-senpi?" Haruhi said, looking at the box in a confused manner.

"Yep!"

"_**Haruhi! Are you still there? What's that box? Are you done with the puzzles? Will that robot let us go? Haruhi…" **_He got turned off after that.

"_**Man, did he get annoying! Don't worry, though, he's still okay. Your box friend will be, too." **_Haruhi picked up the Hunni cube and placed it on a big button and the door opened. She set him down and walked through the door. She turned around to grab him but a robotic arm grabbed him and carried him off. She sighed and turned to face the elevator in front of her.

"_**This is why we don't complain about doing the finances." **_Haruhi heard.

"Kyoya, are you there?" She asked, nervously.

"_**Yes, I'm down here. This device that you're holding is very interesting, must've cost a fortune…" **_She looked down.

"The portal gun?"

"_**That's where I am. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to access a phone. It seems that Glad0s blocked all of those features."**_

"Have you been there the whole time?"

"_**Why, yes. Yes I have. I'm working on an escape route for us but there is one problem."**_

"What's that?"

"_**Glad0s has our empty bodies in the facility and she can pull the plug any time since she controls the place. If you try to escape than she can just kill us and delete our programs. If you solve some tests than that could be a very much needed distraction while I try to get our escape route."**_

"And if this doesn't work?"

"_**Glad0s' history shows turrets and neurotoxin. But there are some hidden details of when she was made. I'm hacking them as we speak."**_

"That's great, wait, Kyoya, can you talk to the others through the computer?"

"_**Unfortunately, Hunni is in a cube that is designed to have a mind of its own, and I haven't figured out where the others are yet. I can talk to Tamaki, but why would I want to? Besides, he's turned off right now. You should get going before Glad0s gets mad."**_

"Alright, but you're coming with me."

"_**Step into the lift to proceed to the next chamber." **_Glad0s' voice boomed in the speakers.

_We're on our way guys, hang in there!_

**So, I'm trying to make all of the hosts different objects, but I may run out. So far we have Hunni as the companion cube, Tamaki as a core, and Kyoya is the portal gun. This story is getting even stranger. Well, on another note, Death Note is what my OCs will have to deal with next if no one goes to that poll. So be sure to check it out and vote for what you want me to torture my OCs with next!**

**:33**

**Nurse Medusa**


End file.
